Only a matter of time

I just got off the phone with my mother in law...while i was on there with her, i decided to spill the beans and let her know what her son was doing. in a small sense, she didn't seem too surprised. she said he had problems with it when he lived with them. i was about to break down crying, hoping she'd have a simple solution to make all the pain go away...but she admitted, she didn't. :( a bit heartbreaking, but she told me to go with him to see "fireproof" which is a pretty good christian movie, i'm told. i wanna go see it badly. i'm at the point where i don't know if i'm in love with him anymore because how can you love someone that you don't trust?!? She mentioned to me that she definately didn't approve of what he had done and neither does his father...and that she would pray for us and hope things get better.

There's a book that she told me about called "love dare"....it says that marriages usually end with "i don't love you anymore" or "i'm not in love with you" and the book kinda brings out the "love" for one another by doing dares...for example, for one day, don't say ANYTHING mean or rude to your spouse...even if you want to. i think that would be a great book for us. "love never fails" it says in the bible. so how can it be love if it fails?????

i'm having a terrible time handling this. i never thought i would be getting married, and then 6 months later, it would end....having no heartbeat or sign of life in the relationship. for better, for worse....or for much much worse. commiting adultrey is one of the many things God looks down upon. No respect. No love. No compassion can come through commiting adultrey.

i suppose i'm not the type of person that can go through something as such and say "things happen, we can get through it." i'm very much the type of person who has to heal for a very long period of time and cannot take such an act lightly.


hopefully, in a matter of time, our marriage will be back to its' origional state, but until then.....

betrayed VOL.2

my apologies for being so short yesterday.

my marriage is now on the rocks because of my husbands' infidelities. he's too ashamed to tell anyone. he doesn't want anyone thinking any less of him. well, he should have thought of that when he did it. he SHOULD be ashamed. God looks down on that....and i thought our family was a good christian family.



i hope that is all i write about this...if not, i apologize....it will probably be because i need to vent.


Kristin

betrayed

by my love.


it is done.

just writing...might edit later

As I sit back in my chair and throw my feet up on the stool, I notice a letter my father wrote me a few years back. I don't remember placing it there, but that doesn't seem to matter in my state of mind. It's bright in the room I'm in, but it has a very lonely feel to it. You can hear the heater running and the sound of my breathing...in...and out...keep breathing and traces of my perfume can be smelled. What a lovely smell, I think, as it has always been my favorite. vanilla. I reach slowly for the letter from my father and open it without a second thought. Ten pages...this man had a lot of time on his hands. All of his letters' began with " I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!" Faith is one thing that he found late in life. Better late than never, I suppose.
I've read this letter many times before, I remembered. His analysis on one of my nightmares took up four of the ten pages and I once again relived it as I read on. I then threw down the papers and hung my head. It was not a memory I wanted to think about. I looked at the clock to find the time. 2:30 p.m. Time to go to work........................



(i'm still learning how to write a story, so i set up a senerio where i would describe several different details of what was going on)

You're Grounded!!!

I'm in such a terrible rut and I don't know what to do. Christian is a typical 8 year old. He's very active and is somewhat hyper. Like I've said before, you can't expect much from a child of that age. Today, my husband encouraged me to take christian to run errands...just so him and i can have some time to bond. I'm the type of parent that likes to play it fair. Hayden's around that age when she wants to be included too and i hate to see her being left out of activities. In this case, however, i thought it was also a good time for her to spend time with Leo. So, I took christian and went to the grocery store. "stop hanging on the cart" I kept repeating every couple minutes. is he hard of hearing or something? I was getting a bit frustrated, but decided once we got out to the car, I was gonna talk to him and let him know that he needed to listen to me. he said okay and i thought, 'wow, only 30 minutes in gerbes?? let's go somewhere else, just to hang out'. so i took him to Aldi's. we just walked around there for about 10 minutes at the most and then walked out. i noticed hastings and asked him if he wanted to go in just to see what's going on in there. he was excited and we went on in. low and behold there were nintendo games, like the ones you see at wal-mart in the entertainment portion of the store. he was thrilled and asked to play. i said of course. i thought to myself, 'how great! we're both having fun, he's occupied and i'm not getting onto him!! :) for about 30-45 minutes of playing games, we decided to get Leo a present for his birthday on tuesday and head to the checkout. as we were walking there, he kept touching stuff and i kept repeating to him "christian, stop touching things and stay by me." all the way to checkout I said this and was getting irritated. my back, turned, for one moment and BAM. candy flew all over the floor!!!! he decided to touch something he wasn't suppose to touch and opened the top with all his might and out flew all the candy. I was embarrassed, so i quickly paid for the present and ran out the door, with christian following me. He kept saying he was sorry that it wasn't an accident. Then he asked if i was mad. I said in a more calmer voice than i am usually, "yes i'm mad. I know you're sorry, but i told you to stop touching stuff and you kept doing it and looked at what happened." I sighed and added "you're grounded til i say you can get out of your room." He was upset, but knew there were going to be consequences.

even ever since we've been home, he's been getting in trouble...because the rule is if you're grounded, you don't be opening your door, talking to anyone. he's secluded. and he's been doing that several times and i told him he was grounded for the rest of the night.

the problem is, no punishment that I do seems to be working. he still acts up. its so frustrating, heartbreaking, like i'm failing miserably....i know that NO parent wants to feel that way. leo was upset because he was grounded...he said he doesn't hardly ever get to spend time with him because he's grounded alot. i'm going out of my mind here!!! i've even told leo that i'm not dealing with his punishments anymore because he makes me feel like i'm being too hard on christian.

we've even tried to take away privileges, but all he really has is the t.v. he doesn't play on the computer, he doesn't hardly have any friends that come play with him...which breaks my heart. I don't feel like if we take away privileges that we're teaching him anything. oh goodness. leo and I have tried to set house rules and we don't seem to follow through with them. it's getting quite annoying actually.


let's just hope things get better before they get any worse!


Kristin

I'm selling my cell phones!!!

I'm under at&t and i think i'm gonna get rid of it all!!! they are very crappy. but if you have phone service under them, then take this opportunity to think about getting a different phone. i have a pink razr camera phone and an LG flip camera phone. the LG is almost brand spankin' new! the razr would be good if you broke your other phone and are wanting something to hold you off til you get the money to get an even better one.


make an offer!!

i'm just extremely bored. maybe i should go wash some dishes

Kristin

the second road

As this being my second blog, I seem to have a little bit more time on my hands and hope to elaborate more on my thoughts. As far as the election concerns...i'm terribly disappointed in the outcome. However, Obama will be our next president and he will be running the country for the next four years. Let's just all pray for him and hope he doesn't screw things up. I don't believe john mccain fought his hardest for us. He knew that us conservatives were pissed about how obama viewed things...abortion, gay marriage, the economy and the war...we wanted him to fight for us and he softened the cushion for obama. did you see at his rallies where he was making fun of people for following mccain?!? what a piece of crap! I will give obama a chance, but he better not screw stuff up. we already see his personality is something else....aaanyways, i'm gonna change the subject...the election's over.

Noah just celebrated his first birthday on the 6th of november. how exciting it was!!! leo, the kids and i had a small birthday for him on that day. i made a birthday cake for everyone else and then one small one for him...in the shape of a bear....it looked pretty cute before he got his hands on it...then it turned into a disaster cake. rather cute though. i remembered when I threw hayden her first b-day party. got her a small cake...she dug right into it and then completely passed out. how funny! i had a blast. this past weekend, we went up to Edina where Leo's family lives and we had a birthday for him. it was a good turnout and he got lots of toys. like we don't have enough, but we have too many clothes for him, so there was no other choice.

hayden is 2 1/2. she's such a pretty little girl...and very polite. we went to walmart the other day and she was saying hi to everyone and if i had accidently ran into someone, she would apologize to the other person before i could. however, she does have a 'toddler' side and when i tell her to do something or not to do something she says 'but mom' and then after a few times back and forth, she would tell me to shut up. i'm like 'dang it, she gets that from her dad.' oh well. lol she's also starting to speak in sentences and we can understand her.

christian is 8 1/2. he's now in third grade and his first grade card came in about a month ago. all a's and b's. how great!!! if he keeps it up, he'll be on the honor roll. however, his behavior isn't so great. you can't expect much from an 8 year old. he's got alot of energy and wants to use it as soon as he can.....and he gets in trouble for it from his teachers. Poor kid, he doesn't think before he does and he has consequences because of it. Though, leo and I make sure to tell him that we love him and hope he does better the next day. He smiles and hugs us before he walks into his room to be grounded. He teaches hayden manners at the table and if she doesn't eat her food, he's there showing her that he eats all of his food, which in turn, makes her want to eat her food so mommy and daddy will praise her.

we all work together pretty well as a family. thankyou parent magazines HAHAHA


God Bless

Kristin Kline

it is only the beginning

this is my first blog post. thank you marisa compton for introducing it to me while showing me how there were some americans out there who didn't care about obama's plans as president, but cared about the mere sake that he was black. i'm not saying that there are republicans out there who don't do that crap, because there are. the only thing i can really talk about is the election because, of course, november 4th was yesterday. i'm not gonna get into it now, but eventually i will. I am glad to find a place where i can say what's on my mind. i might be ridiculed, but oh well...just as long as i'm able to say what i wanna say.

that's that for now.